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Transactional Analysis and Hypnotherapy Part 3

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This is Part 3 of a 3 part series.

Do you feel that you need to see more information to hear how we can help you with hypnotherapy in Port Elizabeth? You can call me now on 071 863 7398 or mail me immediately at Or look at more options at

Observing language patterns is a useful indicator of which ego state is influencing the individual at any one time. Once again it is significant to remember that the L in NLP stands for Linguistic and we are continually on the lookout for significant language patterns.

An easy way to remember the various egos states and their purposes

  • The Child Ego can be seen as the “feeling” ego,
  • The Parent as the “Taught” and
  • The Adult as the “Thought” ego state.

Excessive use of modal operators such as “I must”, “I have to” and “I shouldn’t” are indicative of Parental language, and could be just learned phrases heard from the true parents. Children rarely the understand the reasons or meanings of the instructions from their parents.

Hence the reference to imprinting which is literally copying of the behaviour. It is this repeating of a misunderstood behaviours and in times unfair response from angry or tired parents that gives rise to many conflicts issues and pain in later life.

The Influence of The Adult ego influence can be demonstrated by saying such things as “If others can the perhaps I can”, “I shall take action” and “It is like this or like that”.

The Influence of the Child ego state is characterised by words such “I want to do this”, “I Like this or that”, and “I don’t like you, I don’t like that”.

Ego states interact within us

Ego states also communicate with and relate with other people’s ego states. Communication between individuals and groups can become hampered by the “mismatching” ego states communicating with each other.

Consider this example

Therapist, (Accessing the Adult Ego states)  “perhaps we should find out why you have been drinking more lately”

The patients response could come from either the Parent, Child or Adult Ego state. The perfect match would be Adult to Adult, for example:

Patient, (Accessing Adult Ego State): “Yes, I agree, I think we should”

Unfortunately the therapists well meaning suggestion may cause a flare up from an emotionally charged Child responding.

Child ego patient. “always criticizing me, that’s what my father was always doing. You are just like him.”

Communication about the patients problems and drinking can’t proceed until the adult states can realign their “vectors” and discuss the situation like “adults”.

A balanced approach to life requires the interaction of the ego states.

Eric Berne originally referred to the potential for an “orgy” when the Child is left uncensored by any of the other ego states. It is possible that sexual or other Orgies and uncontrolled acts which sometimes appear unbelievable to us are simply a result of an unruly Child not being kept in check by the Parent.

Punishment in Parental terms, (when applied fairly and without loss of temper) is generally the mechanism with which true parents attempt to guide a child to behave in a certain way. It is essentially a shielding measure.

In Analytical Hypnotherapy, I identify the significant initial event; an event in the past which results in the Parent ego punishing the Child, in many cases on an everlasting basis.

One of the most useful techniques in hypnotherapy is the use of perspective or “reframing”. By revisiting the event under hypnosis it often possible to find another way to look at the event and even see the event from a positive angle. The Parent ego may need to be persuaded that it did not have all the facts at the time of sanction and that it is worth reconsidering the sentence.

We use the wisdom and updated knowledge of the Adult Ego state for this negotiation.

Transactional analysis helps us understand why the “sins of the fathers become the sin of the sons”

The child’s parents received an imprint from their own parent’s values and they have stamped the child with their own personal brand of values.

The child will allow his inherited Parental instincts, values and beliefs to be carried across to his children. We can now appreciate that people in our past really were doing the best that they could with the resources available to them. Once again this is one of the presuppositions of NLP.

Do you feel that you need to see more information to hear how we can help you with hypnotherapy in Port Elizabeth? You can call me now on 071 863 7398 or mail me immediately at Or look at more options at

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